Tips on sustaining a healthy marriage

I have always had high standards of how I want to be a mother and wife. This blog piece is more so of me just venting.  I know that I have a strong character and have my own mind of conception. When you have specific goals and expectations for your family, its not always plausible to complete by yourself. When I was working through my career, my education, myself, everything was fine; I was always in control and have control over myself.

Being a mother and wife is a completely different role I take on now a days! I sometimes find myself so lost and not knowing what to do. I think i’m stressed emotionally with the atmosphere that I live in. Some may see me and think that I’ve raised the happiest family and that I’ve got it under control. But in reality, I feel like I’m broken into pieces with no support.

I’m not sure if it is just me, or do other woman sometimes feel the same way. My husband and the father to my kids sometimes is just “physically” here in our lives but not fully engaged in our lives. I did a random search on “How to be a good husband” and actually read everything to me which makes sense. But without a doubt, I know if I suggest my husband to read something like this… would just end up with him telling me, “please don’t believe in that bullshit. I don’t trust in that kind of shit” – those are exact words he told me once before when I’ve shared an article with him. When times like that come for your family, what do you do to cope? Is there any other methods out in the world that may save or help my marriage? or help my marriage be on a better state?

I’m not any expert with marriage, but I guess the reason why I’m writing this piece is to remind people out there that communication is really important. For those that still is willing to work on their relationship, here are some suggestions:

  • you need to really listen to each other: Don’t just say it but really mean it. When your partner has something to tell you, give your 100% attention. It’s okay for you to unplug from everything in the world and give that 15 mins, 1 hour, or what ever the time is to the one you love.
  •  if trust is broken and you really do want to rectify the situation, do give it your heart and not just do it to “keep” the relationship. I feel that once trust is broken, it is really hard to come to a common ground. But, if you still have feelings for each other, you can talk it out. It really can’t be a one way channel though, as my husband and I. IF a man can’t even express his feelings to you and have to go to others for pleasure and expressing… it is probably really time for you to step back and see if you guys should be together.
  • Being truly thankful and take action when you feel appropriate. Instead of having others tell you do to something for your partner, do something because you want to. Do it because you feel happy and good about it.

 

These things may sound so easily done but sometimes it is really easier said than done. I hope after you read this, you feel WOW, I miss my wife/husband, I should really appreciate her/him more! Now, go out get some flowers before you go home or whip up a nice meal.  Just small things in life will build strength and growth to your family.

Thanks for reading!

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