Managing In-Law’s

I’ve came upon a good article and wanted to share and put my own perspective into this.

It’s no coincidence that popular culture focuses so heavily on in-law relationships, from the meddling mom and dad in “Everybody Loves Raymond” to the “Meet the Parents” movies. These images reflect deep-seated worries about balancing loyalty to one’s spouse with life-long bonds of attachment and obligation to parents, siblings, and other kin. This worry is not an irrational one; research also shows that in-law relations are a key determinant of marital happiness.  -The 3 Best Rule for Managing In-law Relationships 

Your loyalty is to your spouse.

Once you are married, you are entering a different entity in life. Your significant other and kids are your priority in life. I know its hard for parents to understand this point, they may say they understand and give you “space” but action speaks otherwise. I know for a fact my mother and father loves me to death and it is hard for them to “let go” of being a parent to me and I respect that. It is I and myself that needs to reflect and see how I can manage the fort. I chose to enter into a relationship and chose to start a family. Thus, my priority will be my husband and kids; I know my parents will always be there for me but I do have to set rules and limitations if I want to “grow up”. When my husband and I decided to begin a “new chapter” in life, it really hit me to learn that we both have to really care about each others feelings and be thoughtful of what actions we take. This is really important in sustaining a healthy marriage.

I’ve heard many stories from friends and family member where relationships turn sour if and when spouses have conflict each others in-laws; it is inevitable and it is not possible for your in-laws to see eye to eye with 100% agreement every time something happens, so you do need to choose sides. For myself, I vow to marriage and my loyalty to my kids and husband. Thus, I need to be on my husbands side and not let anything cause us arguments. At the end of the day, he is the one that sleeps next to me and will go down the road with me on the long run. He will grow old with me :/

I hope in writing this blog entry is to remind myself the importance of maintaining a good relationship and giving the support to my spouse without a doubt.

In couples where this allegiance did not happen, marital problems swiftly followed. In fact, some of the bitterest disputes occurred over a spouse’s failure to support his or her partner.  -The 3 Best Rule for Managing In-law Relationships 

Remind yourself why you are doing it.

Because I chose my husband I have to accept that his family and my family becomes one. Whether we like it or not, we are ALL in it together. We will all have disagreements and times that we don’t see eye to eye. We can debate, we can discuss and we can do this all day where we STILL can’t agree with each other. That is okay. We don’t have to compromise but we can and should find a middle ground to the situation. Sometimes, I feel that we need to all be reminded of how we are and how we act. How it affects others? Who are they to me?

My mother actually gave me really good advise that I wanted to share with everyone. I’ve once told her in the beginning of my relationship, “his” side of the family do this and that which I don’t like. Blah blah and so forth. My mom replied: “Put yourself into your husbands shoe, and see how he would feel? your not the one that is most stuck in the situation. you shouldn’t let him have to feel stuck in the middle. As a wife, or any woman that love the man, you should think for him and how it will make HIS LIFE EASIER.” I guess my mom was really teaching me the reality of a marriage and how I am not just a carefree single woman; we really do have to think twice sometimes of actions we take and how it will affect the people around us.

So, woman and men out in this world. We can stop for a second and think for your significant others. In your good faith in doing so, maybe they will do the same for you as well. People are not stupid, they will know when you are being good or not to them.

Eliminate politics from discussion.

According to the elders, you may not be able to avoid conflict over your in-laws’ disapproval of your marriage, your job, your lifestyle, or how you raise your children. But you can make it a rule to take noisy and unnecessary political debates off the table. (Remember, we’re not talking here about a lively, enjoyable political discussion; I mean the kind that ends with slamming doors and a spouse crying in the car.)

This aspect is very interesting to me, because this is very valid. I see politics as “issues”, topics in the family where one person don’t agree with the other. Due to culture, insensitivity, generation gap or what ever it may be. If you know we can not change the others mindset in some situation, DON’T WASTE YOUR TIME nor do you have to agree. Sometimes, we have to be okay with standing by your will.

For example: Simple as “how to raise a child”, there is no one way to look at this. It is influence by your upbringing and culture. Be respectful and listen, but YOU KNOW your kids best and YOU ARE THE PARENTS to the kids. End of discussion and no discussion needed with others. YOU chose to be a parent and take ownership of that! Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself and your own beliefs.

Every family may not have issues with politics but this section is really to remind ourselves the point that people don’t always see eye to eye and if we know that there is a “hot topic” that will cause argument. Simply leave the room and say bye. You don’t ever want to continue repetitively nagging on the same issue again and again when time proves you will never agree with one another. So be okay with yourself to just EXIT,  it can potentially save your marriage.

Thanks for reading!

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Bridge to Nowhere

 

Bridge to Nowhere is a great experience that I’ve had with a couple of good friends. I’ve never done much hiking, so this was definitely intense to me. My friends wanted to do Bungee Jumping and I decided to tag along to hike and have some nature fun.

We signed up for the bungee jumping experience with Bungee America.   The trip starts  at 7:30am where you meet at a parking lot to sign in, get to know your tour guide and get going to your 5 miles hike. They explain to us that we will go through hills, trails, rocks, sand and river water which is not easy I have to say but with  determination you should be able to survive.  It was a very chilly day so we walked fast and took about 2 hours to get up to the bridge; do note that it will take you 2 hours to come down. This is definitely an all day activity as we were all super sore and tired from the outing!

Once you get up to the Bridge, you will be introduced to the safety and scenery of Bungee Jumping.

Image result for bridge to nowhere los angeles

 

This video basically sums up my whole experience. If you have no experience with Video making (like me), you can give them video editor tool a try.

 

Here is my sample try of making a video with the technology and user friendly applications I found online. I went to do a trial to see if its easy for me to just put all the pieces in and have them create something for me. To my surprise, it was easy and fun to see the final product!

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Tell me what you guys think! If you have been there before, let me know your experience! If you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to reach out to me as well. Thanks for reading!

Tips on sustaining a healthy marriage

I have always had high standards of how I want to be a mother and wife. This blog piece is more so of me just venting.  I know that I have a strong character and have my own mind of conception. When you have specific goals and expectations for your family, its not always plausible to complete by yourself. When I was working through my career, my education, myself, everything was fine; I was always in control and have control over myself.

Being a mother and wife is a completely different role I take on now a days! I sometimes find myself so lost and not knowing what to do. I think i’m stressed emotionally with the atmosphere that I live in. Some may see me and think that I’ve raised the happiest family and that I’ve got it under control. But in reality, I feel like I’m broken into pieces with no support.

I’m not sure if it is just me, or do other woman sometimes feel the same way. My husband and the father to my kids sometimes is just “physically” here in our lives but not fully engaged in our lives. I did a random search on “How to be a good husband” and actually read everything to me which makes sense. But without a doubt, I know if I suggest my husband to read something like this… would just end up with him telling me, “please don’t believe in that bullshit. I don’t trust in that kind of shit” – those are exact words he told me once before when I’ve shared an article with him. When times like that come for your family, what do you do to cope? Is there any other methods out in the world that may save or help my marriage? or help my marriage be on a better state?

I’m not any expert with marriage, but I guess the reason why I’m writing this piece is to remind people out there that communication is really important. For those that still is willing to work on their relationship, here are some suggestions:

  • you need to really listen to each other: Don’t just say it but really mean it. When your partner has something to tell you, give your 100% attention. It’s okay for you to unplug from everything in the world and give that 15 mins, 1 hour, or what ever the time is to the one you love.
  •  if trust is broken and you really do want to rectify the situation, do give it your heart and not just do it to “keep” the relationship. I feel that once trust is broken, it is really hard to come to a common ground. But, if you still have feelings for each other, you can talk it out. It really can’t be a one way channel though, as my husband and I. IF a man can’t even express his feelings to you and have to go to others for pleasure and expressing… it is probably really time for you to step back and see if you guys should be together.
  • Being truly thankful and take action when you feel appropriate. Instead of having others tell you do to something for your partner, do something because you want to. Do it because you feel happy and good about it.

 

These things may sound so easily done but sometimes it is really easier said than done. I hope after you read this, you feel WOW, I miss my wife/husband, I should really appreciate her/him more! Now, go out get some flowers before you go home or whip up a nice meal.  Just small things in life will build strength and growth to your family.

Thanks for reading!

Gel Nail Looks without “Gel Nail Polish”

Hello all,

I hope you all had a great long weekend for those who get President Day off.  Sorry for not being able to write the past few days as my Kids had it off…Thus… I really can’t do nothing but entertain them. Plus, I do like to respect my time with the kiddos. They grow up too fast.

I sometimes like to do my nails myself to save $ and time being out. Since I had lots of time at home, I actually tried this new nail polish from Sally’s called “Miracle Gel” nails which really WOW me. I like the gel nail look since its more shinny and durable but I don’t like how gel nail kind of ruins your nails vs. regular nail polish. So I went for these at Walgreens since it was on sale if you buy 2 nail polish they take $2 off. You probably would need to buy 2 anyways because they have a “top coat” bottle that boosts the shine of the nails. The nail polish has 2x of the shine then a regular nail polish! It was super easy to put on but do use more time to let it dry. I felt like I needed at least 30 minutes to have the polish dry.

nails

I’ve only recently got into this DIY nails, so I will be buying some more and giving some comparisons to what I think! Be on the outlook.

 

Thanks for reading!

Do you write for Followers or Do you write just because?

Being true to yourself and being genuine is powerful in all ways.

I am by no means an expert in the blogging world but I just want to share my thoughts and what I think about this whole blogging situation (For me personally)

I’ve recently decided to blog because:

  • I see lots of people blogging
  • some people are making money and some people aren’t
  • blogging is soothing
  • blogging and hope that someone will read it
  • blogging and hope that someone can relate to you

What I found in the short time that I’ve blog: 

  • Yes, I see lots of people blogging
  • Yes, I see some people making money and some people aren’t
  • Yes, blogging is soothing to me
  • Yes, blogging and someone really do read it
  • Yes, blogging and someone really can relate to me! giving me validation
  • finding a great community of supportive bloggers
  • finding somewhere I feel like I belong
  • finding something that I’m actually happy and looking forward to do!

Ever since I blog, I was afraid of being judge. Judging that my writing is not good enough or being judged that this isn’t right for me. I come to realize that the inner fear and negatively really is I, myself. I have a boss at work, I have people looking at what I do. I have co workers who may be friends or may be people that just isn’t compatible with me.

BLOGGING SPACE IS MY SPACE. I really do what I like, yes some people may like my page and some people may not. That shouldn’t make you feel less than others or make you feel negative. I learn that blogging is just another space for one to make use of their time, or to find happiness.

I’m writing this just to remind everyone that is starting out to blog like myself or people who have been blogging for a long time that this is what you chose to do for yourself. Whether you posting daily, monthly, weekly, or when ever out of the blue. It is all up to you. Don’t blog to please anyone but more so blog because you like to and the followers will come and the likes will be liked by people who appreciate what you are sharing.

I’m going to be genuine as possible and even if there isn’t 1 view for my blog. I’m still happy because I’ve vent or shared everything out to “cloud” space! No one can limit what I write and no one can restrain what I post. You are your own boss. so HEY!!! 🙂 do as you like and followers will come. Thank you to my blogging community, It gives me some more boost of happiness!

Share with me why your are blogging. I would love to hear from other bloggers story of why, what, when, where and how you started to blog. I’ll definitely check out your page and let you know if something interest me. I love to build my blogging friends and have someone to talk to!

xoxo-Mama Ng 

p.s. now I need to go back to my mama duty. Currently time to bring my girls to shower since they just came back from school and made a big mess with playdoh =_=

WORLDS YOGA classes

Review on WORLDSYOGA @ Bay Area Yoga Studio’s

Mommy, you can say “no” when you need to.

As a mommy myself, I sometimes feel like I need to take down the world or something. Sometimes we have to be okay with treating ourselves a little better and giving us some me time. I have some inspirational words that keep me going and let me know that I’m alright.

Why say no?

The number of worthy requests isn’t likely to lessen, and you can’t add more time to your day. Are you doomed to be overcommitted? The answer is no, not if you’re willing to say no. It may not be the easy way, but it is a path to stress relief.

What is your stress relief method? I’m testing out different ideas to see what may work for me.

I have tons of workload to do at home and work, it’s like a never ending cycle. I use to work and work non stop because I want to be “perfect” and have tasks completed. Until I got really sick and my health started to suffer. I realize that we really don’t need to push ourselves like that. YOU know your own limits and try to appreciate yourself a little more each day. Praise yourself and give credit for the things you have done. Lately I have been signing up for yoga classes to help myself practice staying calm and not think about anything; let my brain rest and recharge. I always say, “I don’t have time for this” but time is what you control. If your new to yoga, I would recommended trying the hot stone yoga which is super mellow, low key and relaxing. The poses are not hard to do and the movements are very slow. Anyone and everyone can give it a try.

I went to World Yoga because most yoga classes are 90 minutes, but this practice center has 60 minute classes which made me less nervous to give it a try. Another bonus point is that they have Kids yoga! It doesn’t have to only be for yourself, you can sign your whole family up and stay fit together.

 

I signed up for a week’s trial to test their classes and this is what I feel:

  •  I like how their classes are on the smaller side so you get the attention from instructors.
  •  It has a good variety of classes that fits every level
  • I like how they have entry level hot bikram yoga that is 60 minutes for beginners vs. the usual 90 minutes, it gives me more time to ease in to yoga (though, I actually like to have the room heated up a bit more)
  • They have classes for kids which not all yoga studio have
  • The center is very clean! I know some centers may have a stink odor smell due to bikram yoga, but this one is definitely on the cleaner side
  • They have hardwood floor, not carpet!
  • The bathroom and shower are well stocked with shampoo and toiletry for use
  • You can sign up for classes online to make sure you have a spot when you arrive
  • If you become a member, there is actually 3 centers you are welcome to go to (Fremont, Milpitas and Union City)
  • lots of yoga classes and special guests teaching different variety of classes

 

Overall, I had a good experience with this yoga center. I probably will go to a few more to trial which one I like the most. Do you practice yoga or any types of exercise to relieve stress and stay healthy? Any recommendation for centers I should go check out? Where do you go?  Besides yoga, is there anything you would recommend me trying?  Let me know and give me some suggestions. I would love to go and share my experience with everyone. Thank you for taking the time to read my blog. Please like and subscribe!

 

@worldsyoga #Worldsyoga #Bayarea #Yoga #yogaTrial #healthylifestyle #Stayhealthy #Mamablogger #MommyBlogger #NewtoBlogLife #Exercise #Pilates #YogaStudios #Review #Fitness #Health #kidsyoga #FamilyYoga

 

Quick Gradient Lips Method

While I was traveling to Korea, I see lots of girls walking around with really natural lip colors that aren’t really full on lipstick and I wonder why? HOW CAN I get some of that nice gradient look was what I had in my mind.

Remember my quick 5 minute morning make up tip? You can add this into the sequence if you have time to give it a twist to this completely new look.  Every time I put on that lipstick and gloss, I immediately feel brighter. This lip gloss just gives you a good youthful look and glow which is what I’m looking for instead of full blown make up.

In America, I tend to see people just putting full blast lip stick on one’s lip and then gloss all over for the shiny finish. What I want to share with you is what I call “using less is better” and quicker 🙂 Again, as a mommy I can’t have routines that takes too long or needs super perfection to look perfect.

This simple trick may help you as well!

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Step 1: put on a matted nude color for your whole lips (a quick draw on your lips is fine, you really don’t need much)

Step 2: Instead of putting the lip gloss over and around all the lip area, you just use dab a little in the inside middle part of your lip. let the gloss slowly run around your lips and create its natural blend.  I’m using the Etude house lip gloss from my Korea trip as it smells really fruity and it is super watery which makes it easy for the color to maneuver around your lips.

 

Final product 🙂 

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog, I enjoy writing as much as knowing you guys reading! If you like what I do, please Like, share and follow my page! I appreciate everything.

 

 

 

Typical Full Time Mom Weekday With 2 Kids

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As a Full Time working mom, I try my best to be a 100% mom to my kids no matter how busy I get. I wanted to share my typical daily routine to let mommy’s out there know that it is possible to manage your kids and keep a job you want. I’ve came up with simple recipes to whip up for quick meals and setting up daily routines to make sure my kids get enough sleep time + family activity to make sure we are engaged in their daily development. I know it is hard as a full time working mommy, but I want to encourage all the moms out there that you guys are strong and you can do it!

Here is what I do:

6:00 am– Wake up get dress + spend my 10 minutes to make myself presentable!

6:20 am- get coffee brewing, lunch packed, prep quick breakfast to go.

6:45 am– wake 2 kids up and get them dress, brush their teeth, wash face. I know it sometimes take quite a long time to get your kid to actually want to wake up. Read my article about “Sleeping routine on a school day “to get tips on how my kids don’t make a big fuss waking up.

7:10 am- Leave the house, get into the car and drive to preschool center (5 minutes’ drive away from home)

7:15 am– arrive to school, sign them in and kiss + hug them goodbye. It’s very important to kiss and hug goodbye in our family because it shows them we care. Read “Little gestures to show you care” about the routines of our daily life that helps my daughters feel warmth and confident.

7:30 am- Arrive at Bart station to go to work. Its super essential for commuters like me to have a Clipper card as it saves you so much time from getting tickets at the vending machine and also saves you an extra 50 cents per trip.

8:30 am- Arrive to work

5:30 pm – Off work Bart back home to get the kids.

6:30 pm- pick up kids and have them do homework while I prep for dinner. Some quick recipes for dinner we make at home is good and simple for week days. I don’t like eating out too much on week nights as the girls have school the following day, we try to come up with yummy recipes that is filling, refresh and quick.

7:00 pm-dinner with the kids + finding topics to talk to the kids about + learn more about their growth and development

7:30 pm- Have the kids pick their own clothes to wear for the next day (while they do that, you can use the time to put all the dirty dishes and pans inside the dishwasher). Then we are ready for a shower/bath.

8:00 pm-Family Time Activity: reading books, playing with toys and drawing time before we get ready for bed.

8:30 pm– snuggle and we are ready for one bed time story before lights out!

Here you have it, Ng’s family routine for the week day’s when the kids have school the following day.

What is your family routine like? I would love to hear from you. Share us some tips and let’s see how I can incorporate that into our schedule.

Thank you for reading, please subscribe and follow our page if you like us! 

WhatsApp Image 2018-02-05 at 3.03.01 PM (1)that’s me and me doubting my mama skills on a daily basis and working to be a better mommy every second of my life. Hang in there mama’s, there are no set rules or the best way to take care of your child. It really is just what YOU personally feel is the appropriate for your situation. 

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